10 Questions You Must Ask Before Choosing a Surrogacy Agency

Choosing a surrogacy agency is one of the most consequential decisions in your family-building journey. The right agency protects you, guides you, and advocates for you throughout a complex and emotionally significant process. The wrong one can cost you time, money, and heartbreak. These 10 questions will help you separate agencies that are genuinely prepared to support you from those that are better at marketing than service.

1. Who will be my primary point of contact, and how available are they?

This is the single most important operational question. Some agencies assign you a case coordinator you've never met after the initial "sales" call. Find out exactly who you'll be working with, what their experience is, and how quickly they typically respond. At Advocates for Surrogacy, our Founder, Candace O'Brien, will start with your consultation and bring you through each and every step of the process.

2. Is the agency's leadership legally qualified in surrogacy?

Surrogacy law is complex and state-specific. Working with an agency led by an attorney with direct surrogacy law experience as Advocates for Surrogacy is means legal considerations are integrated from the start — not outsourced as an afterthought.

3. Where exactly are my funds held, and who controls the escrow?

This is a critical financial safety question. The escrow account holding surrogate compensation and other reimbursements and expenses should be held by a third-party escrow company with no affiliation to the agency — not by the agency itself. Advocates for Surrogacy will hold limited escrow funds initially during the screening process and prior to contracting with the surrogate to cover initial expenses such as travel, psych assessment, reimbursements. Intended Parents will receive reconciliation and receipts and remaining funds refunded.

4. How do you screen surrogates, and what are your disqualification criteria?

Ask specifically what the screening process includes: medical history, MMPI psychological assessment, background check, insurance verification, financial stability review. Who communicated with the surrogate and how often and by what means during the intake process? Do Intended Parents receive the complete questionnaire that the surrogate completed or a summary? Talk to the agency about issues that disqualify a candidate. Does the agency share medical documents with the fertility clinic before introduction to intended parents?

5. What is your matching process — and what happens if the match doesn't work?

Matching is not putting the next available surrogate with the next available intended parent. Ask how values, expectations, and sensitive issues (like selective reduction) are assessed before presenting a match. Ask what happens if you decline a match, and what happens if a match falls through before or after contract execution.

6. Can you provide a complete, itemized cost estimate?

Any agency should be able to give you a detailed, written breakdown of every anticipated cost category. Cost categories and ranges are appropriate in introductory cost information. When the agency presents a particular surrogate candidate, is there a comprehensive cost estimate for that particular match provided? Each surrogate match is different; for example, does the surrogate have insurance that is surrogate friendly, does she work? What are her lost wages? Many factors affect the overall cost and these should be carefully presented. For each candidate presented to intended parents, Advocates for Surrogacy presents a comprehensive cost analysis.

7. How do you handle complications — miscarriage, failed transfers, conflict between parties?

Ask for specific examples of how they've navigated difficult situations. The right agency will answer directly and honestly. Evasive or relentlessly optimistic answers to this question are a red flag. What internal support exists during the process? Who handles the initial situation? How experienced are they? At what point is a senior executive involved? Advocates for Surrogacy provides white glove, VIP support to every surrogate and every intended parent. This means that our founder, Candace O'Brien, is involved in every step and brings almost 20 years of surrogacy and over 30 years of family building experience to each situation.

8. Do intended parents and surrogates have separate legal counsel?

The answer must be yes. Using one attorney for both parties is a serious conflict of interest. Intended parents should pay for the surrogate's independent attorney as part of the standard arrangement. While Candace O'Brien is an attorney, Advocates for Surrogacy does not believe an agency attorney is appropriate to represent the intended parents or surrogates. Each must have independent, experienced attorneys representing their best interests.

9. What support does the surrogate receive, and what do you do for her family?

The wellbeing of your surrogate directly affects the wellbeing of your pregnancy. Ask about monthly counseling, 24/7 access to the team, postpartum support, and ongoing, immediate availability without bureaucratic restraints during the process.

10. Who Runs the Agency — and What Is Their Professional Background?

It's natural to feel drawn to an agency founded by someone who has personally experienced surrogacy. Many agencies are started by former surrogates or intended parents. Personal experience can feel relatable and reassuring.

But running a surrogacy agency is not the same as having completed a surrogacy journey.

Surrogacy involves complex state-specific law, escrow oversight, insurance navigation, contract coordination, medical protocol management, and high-conflict dispute resolution. It requires structured systems, financial transparency, ethical neutrality, and the ability to make difficult decisions under pressure.

Ask yourself: Does the person leading the agency have formal legal or regulatory training? Do they have experience managing contracts, risk, and financial compliance? Have they handled failed cycles, disputes, and complications professionally — not just personally? Are decisions made based on law and ethics rather than personal experience or emotion?

Empathy is important. But empathy alone does not substitute for professional expertise. Surrogacy is too complex and too financially significant to be run solely as a passion project.

The right leadership combines experience, structure, neutrality, and professional judgment. At Advocates for Surrogacy, leadership includes nearly two decades of surrogacy program oversight and over 30 years of family-building legal experience.